Kyu ki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!
Have you watched the movie Monster - in - law starring Jennifer Lopez? Is that how your relationship is with your mother- in -law?
Well, mine isn’t! My MIL (Mummy) is one of the most kind hearted people I've ever met. She has a very calm, loving, down to earth personality which automatically tends to soothe a hyperactive person like me. Lol! I’m not just saying this because she might read this article but it’s the truth.
Before marriage, I remember one of the conversations I had over the phone with her. I called her aunty. She said, ‘Aditi! No more aunty! Only Mummy!!’ I felt it was the sweetest way to welcome a girl into her life and family. I fumbled over the phone and obviously agreed. I already felt the love and warmth.
She was my pillar of strength during my pregnancy and post delivery. She slept with me for forty days after post delivery. Everyday she would wake up at 5:30 am and give me breakfast. I would be exhausted after all the breastfeeding throughout the night. I would just hog whatever is given to me and sleep. Not only did she look after me, but she pulled me through each day of my recovery. I couldn’t have done it without her.
Over the years of my marriage I have learnt a lot from her, especially during my journey of motherhood.
She is like a walking talking encyclopedia. Ask her anything and she would have an answer! For instance, “Mummy Reya isn't feeling well and I think she might be getting a cold.” She would promptly tell you at least five to ten home remedies to make her feel better. Now, I'm not just talking about simple things like flu, I mean everything!
Mummy loves to cook. And no doubt, the food she cooks is delicious. I would stand next to her when she cooks and if she is cooking one of my favourite dishes, I do end up drooling! She’s been cooking for years and believe me she’s damn good at it! She loves to make delicious goodies to munch on for her grandkids. Not only that, she always considers everyone’s food preferences. How she decides everyday, is beyond me! I would go bonkers!
Don’t get me started on shopping. She fulfills all the wishes of her grandkids. I mean which grandmother wouldn’t want to. Yesterday she went grocery shopping. Before leaving she told her grandkids “I’ll pick some ladoos on the way back”. The moment she entered home Reya asked her “Dadi where are the ladoos?? I want to eat LADOOS!! ” Me and Mummy looked at each other and she said she went out of the way to buy ladoos for her little ones. I was so touched.
Mummy is like the glue in my family. She sticks us all together. She takes care of all of us. She has two daughters-in-law sitting on her head! Sometimes she wants to lock herself in a room and stay away from all the perpetual chaos and commotion (who wouldn’t want to) but she does everything single handedly! Love you Mummy! You’re the best!
When I speak to my friends over the phone we talk about almost everything. I end up hearing such horror stories about their relationships between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law and believe me it’s scary. I freak out!! I'm so thankful that I have Mummy!
Well, you need to sit yourself down and think about how to make things better, try and understand your mother-in-law. She is also a mother of her son. She will always be a mother. You aren’t ever going to stop worrying about your child. Neither will she. Is he eating well? Why does he need to see the doctor? Is he looking after his health? I think he needs to sort his routine, so many questions popping up in her head. These are normal questions that come up for any mother. It is but natural. Try to understand her. She doesn’t mean you any harm. All she wants is for you all to be healthy and happy!
Also think about this, grandmothers are great with their grandkids. This is something you can never take away from them. They have lived all these years slogging and trying to make it work but ultimately it is only the grandkids who can give them that immense joy and unconditional love. So, if you guys don't live together, make plans to visit. If you do live together make sure they spend quality time with each other.
Ask her for help! Yes! She has lived longer than you have. She has seen more! Believe me, she knows more! Be open minded! Talk about anything and everything under the sky! Take her advice. Communicate with each other. For all you know she would soon come and ask you for your take on certain things.
Once you get married, you are not only married to your husband but you're committed to all the family members under that roof.
But if you both get along then trust me, tumhari zindagi set hai! (You’re good to go!)
So clear the air!
Take a deep breath!
Live and love each other!
Accept each other!
You got this!