Things I Wish I Could Tell My Mom

'I'm soooooooo tired!' Priyanka groaned as she dumped her purse, her office bag, and her lunch bag on her desk. 'Today is Monday Madness! Not Monday Motivation!' She let out a long sigh and then picked up her phone to scroll through her messages. 

'I haven't even had the time to check my phone today… It's been such a crazy morning. My maid called in sick at the last minute; there was a power cut, no power backup… and everything… everything was running late. My kids almost missed the school bus. Uff! And don't even get me started on the weekend!' 

'Yes… your weekend is pretty evident on social media. Are you done venting?' her colleague, Rekha, said as she rolled her eyes. She got off her chair and began to search for her wallet in her huge purse. 

'Actually… no! I'm not. There's a lot more. Hear me out!'

'You’ll have to wait. I need coffee!' Rekha moaned. 

'Already? But it isn't even break time…' 

'Didn't you eat breakfast?' Priyanka frowned.

'I did… but.'

'I made waffles and aloo parathas for breakfast. I ended up eating one of each,' Priyanka grinned sheepishly. 

'Why didn’t you just make one item? Why two?’

'Because the kids wanted to eat waffles for breakfast,' Priyanka exclaimed. 'And Subir doesn't eat waffles. So I had to make parathas. It is his staple diet.'

'So?' Rekha rolled her eyes. 'You realize that all that extra work is your undoing.'

'What do you mean?' 

'Nothing. I need coffee.'

'Maybe I should have brought you some breakfast,' Priyanka said. 'You get too grumpy when you're hungry.'

‘Oh, I ate breakfast. My standard breakfast,' Rekha said. 'Actually … I had a late night. I need coffee to wake up and function. My husband came home after a week-long work trip. I didn’t realize how much I'd missed him until he stepped through the front door. Luckily, my son went to bed on time. He was out playing cricket with his colony friend almost the entire day, so after he ate his dinner, he just fell into bed.'

'Ohhhh!! Husband and wife quality time, huh?' Priyanka grinned a naughty grin. 

Rekha rolled her eyes. 'We are not having this conversation! But like I said. I need coffee.'

Unfortunately, Rekha's coffee had to wait. The two women and their colleagues were called for a morning meeting. The meeting went on longer than usual, as the team had been delegated a ton of things to do that week.

Soon, the fellow workers were back at their desks, and the office was filled with murmuring, mumbling, and grumbling. 

'How can we possibly finish the presentation by tomorrow?' Priyanka whined. 

'Finish it at home… that's what I'm going to do,' Rekha replied as she took a seat at her desk. 

'How does our boss expect us to do all this work? We have a lot of things to do besides preparing presentations at home.'

Rekha sighed and didn't utter another word. All she could think about was coffee. Finally, she picked up her wallet, ready to go to the cafeteria. 'Are you coming?'

'No… no! I'm going to get started with work. I need to finish this by the end of the day,' Priyanka replied, glued to the screen. 

In due time, the two friends were busy at their desks, getting work done and ticking things off the to-do list. They were having a productive day, but still had lots left to do.

'My stomach is rumbling,' Priyanka sighed. 

'Me too… but I'm always hungry,' Rekha giggled. 'Let's go to the cafeteria.'

Soon, the two were sitting at their usual table. Priyanka and Rekha enjoyed their lunch while catching up on office gossip and discussing the weekend that had just gone by. 

'You know, the weirdest thing happened on Sunday? My daughter refused to attend her art class,' Priyanka said. ‘This has never happened before.’ 

‘So?’ Rekha stopped chewing and stared at her friend. She rapidly blinked her brown eyes and continued eating. 

'I don’t understand why. I always make sure that my kids have a jam-packed weekend. I also ensure that they take part in extracurricular activities at school. And at home as well. Like, on Friday, we had a movie night. On Saturday, I took them bowling, followed by lunch. I had no idea Subir, my wonderful, supportive husband, would invite people for dinner. So, I ended up entertaining guests till past midnight! On Sunday, I was totally exhausted. But I had promised the kids that we would bake cookies, which we did. And I ended up doing most of it. Obviously. Although Ananya was a big help. And then in the evening she had her at class. By the way, I’m paying a bomb for that class and she just refused to attend!’ 

'Priyanka!' Rekha said, closing her eyes and resting her head on her hand. 'Are you for real?’ 

'What?' 

'Why do you do so much? For what? For who? For your kids? For yourself?'

'What do you mean?'

'Okay…Why are you raising the bar for all of us other moms? That's a problem,' Rekha began to explain. 

A proud smile slowly appeared on Priyanka's sweet face.

'I feel you're trying too hard with your kids. And you're just making it harder on yourself. Your kids really need to learn how to do stuff without you. I'm not saying that we shouldn't spend time with our kids—we should. But you have two beautiful children - Ananya & Rohit. Make them independent ones, not dependent ones.'

Priyanka took a deep breath, her eyebrows furrowed. 'No one has ever said this to me before. They've always encouraged me. In fact, it makes me feel guilty if I don't do all this. And that makes me want to do more!'

'Well, I don’t mean to be too blunt. But here’s a reality check. There's still time to make a change. But if you're going to continue like this, your kids are always going to have high expectations. They're always going to tag along wherever you go. They're never going to learn to play on their own. Children need to learn to be independent. How on earth can they grow up without that?'

'What do you suggest I do then? What do you do with your kiddo?' Priyanka asked worriedly. 

'Well, the scenario is slightly different with Aarav because he's the only child. Since my pregnancy took such a toll on my health, I preferred having only one child. But ever since Aarav was a little boy, he's been on his own. I had to get back to work after my maternity leave was over. He spent most of his time with my mother. And eventually, he started school. Life became very simple after that. He is growing up to be a very independent boy.'

'So what are you saying? I shouldn’t spend time with my kids? Do you not spend any time with Aarav?'

'Of course I do. We have lots of fun together. We dance, we watch movies together. We eat meals together. We cook together. And Aarav has his household responsibilities,' Rekha explained. 

'Wait… hold up. Did you say household responsibilities?' her friend asked, widening her eyes.  

Rekha chuckled. 'Yes! Aarav helps me tidy up the house. He sets the table before dinner. We clear up together. But you know the best part is eating together. He has so much to say.'

'Wow! How do you do it?'

'Well, we share a relationship where I don't always have to do stuff with or for him. Aarav loves to read. He loves playing cricket with his friends. He loves his guitar. But that doesn't mean I'm any less of a mom to him. He knows that. But let them be. Don't overload them.'

'Maybe that's why Ananya refused to go to art class on Sunday,' Priyanka said slowly. 

'Probably. And if you don't start now on a different path with your children, your life is going to get even harder. Even more challenging. And if you don't live up to their expectations, the guilt will eat you alive.'

'You know what. Maybe you’re right. I should start right away!' Priyanka replied with grave determination. 'But I don't know how. Where do I begin? I can't just stop all of a sudden.'

'Okay, hang on… take a look at this,' Rekha said, taking her phone from her pocket and opening her Instagram account. She searched for Priyanka's

profile.

'What are you doing? Why are you searching for me?' She asked, sounding confused. 

'See… just take a look at your weekend. 'Rekha scrolled through everything Priyanka had posted since Friday. Who has so much time for all of this? You have two children. Just let them be. Let them.'

Priyanka paused, allowing the reality to seep in. 

'Don't worry. You'll get used to it. And you're going to love it!'

The following evening, Priyanka tried to implement the changes. Although she wanted it to be gradual, it seemed like it was going to take longer than expected. 

Every single day seemed more challenging. Priyanka would reach her office every morning and moan about her children, grumble about her husband, and worry about her unfinished to-do list. 

'They wouldn't lift a finger! This is the end. It’s too late. It's all downhill from here!' 

'Ohhhh! You make it sound so desperate! It isn't… give it some time.' Rekha smiled a knowing smile and gave Priyanka's shoulder a gentle squeeze. 'Nobody ever said that parenting was a walk in the park.'

'I can't! I just can't. They aren't ready to do a thing without me. I've even had a long conversation with both of them. But it all seems so pointless. Rohit sits on the sofa and does nothing. His tape  just starts…!'

'Tape?’

The: I'm bored tape! Then everything gets on my nerves, and I'll be back entertaining them with something or the other.' 

'Then let them get bored. Just let go! Give it time. Things will settle.'

Priyanka let out a long sigh. 'Let's see.'

'What are your plans for tomorrow? It’s Saturday and you're turning forty!'

'Oh my! I completely forgot.'

'You better pamper yourself and make it worthwhile!' 

Later that night, the house was finally quiet. The kids were asleep — or so she thought. Subir snored softly beside her. Priyanka lay wide-eyed in the dark, staring at the ceiling. She had been tossing and turning for over an hour, her mind looping through every complaint, chore, to-do list, and half-finished thought. Her upcoming birthday didn't excite her the way it used to. In fact, it felt like a quiet, ticking time bomb.

'Forty…. Oh my god!’

She reached out to recheck the time and decided to check on her kids one last time before trying to sleep. Once again. She tucked Rohit for the hundredth time, hoping he wouldn't kick off his blanket.  She then went to her daughter's room, where she found Ananya sound asleep, with a notebook resting on her chest. Priyanka slowly picked up the notebook. Before shutting it, she took a quick glance at the open page. 'Things I Wish I Could Say to Mom.' Priyanka read. She caught her breath. Her finger hovered. 

'I shouldn't be reading my daughter's journal,' her mind raced. 'I need to respect her privacy.' But Priyanka's curiosity got the better of her. Her fear had already rooted her feet to the floor. 

She took the notebook and quietly tiptoed to the kitchen, turning on the light. Then, she began reading her daughter's journal. 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Things I Wish I Could Say to Mom.'

"I wish Mom would stop planning my life like I'm a little robot. I don't like art class. I just want to do nothing sometimes. She doesn't get it. I feel bad for her… but I also feel bad for me.

What I would really like is for her to sit with me, not cook with me, not make me do 500 activities, just BE with me.

I think Mom is really tired, but she doesn't know how to stop. I wish she knew that I love her… even if I don't want to do cookies and crafts. I don’t want to always be going out and doing stuff. I just want her to smile for real."

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Priyanka's hand shook as she lowered the journal.

A lump formed in her throat. She sat on the kitchen stool, her mind racing, her eyes welling up with tears.

‘Her daughter wasn't rebelling. Ananya was reaching out — in the only way she knew how,’ she consoled herself. The guilt hit hard. So did the love. ‘I’ve been doing everything - absolutely everything - except the one thing my daughter wants me to do - be present without performance.’

Priyanka reached for her phone and typed out a message to Rekha:

‘You were right...’

Then, she tiptoed into Ananya's room and gently kissed her forehead.

‘Your Mumma loves you, darling.'

Eventually, Priyanka fell asleep with a quiet heart for the first time in months.

The following day, Priyanka turned forty. She woke up with her kids next to her in bed. They wished her happy birthday, cuddled and snuggled up in bed.

She didn’t bother to plan her day or make a schedule. She just wanted a quiet day with her kids. And for the first time in a long time, she felt something shift inside her - she felt a new kind of resolve. Not to do more. But to do less - but for that less to mean more. 

She stayed in bed with her phone on silent, sipping her tea slowly, watching a baking show without any intention of baking. She let herself nap in the afternoon without guilt gnawing at her from the inside.

In the back of her mind, Ananya's note stayed with her, not in a heavy way, but like a compass silently guiding her course.

When Subir brought her bed tea in the early evening and asked her to get dressed for dinner, she nodded calmly. There was a gentleness in her movements now. There was no rushing, no trying to orchestrate the perfect moment.

She picked a simple kurta she hadn't worn in a while, brushed her hair, and added some kajal. She didn't try to dress for Instagram — she just dressed for herself.

As she stepped out of the bedroom, the house suddenly erupted with a loud:

‘SURPRISE!’

Priyanka froze.

Her eyes widened at the sight of her living room — balloons in every corner, fairy lights strung across the walls, her closest friends and family standing with goofy birthday hats and giant grins.

‘What… what is happening?’ she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Subir came forward, gently pulling her into a hug. ‘It was all them,’ he said, smiling as he glanced towards their kids. I just followed orders.’

Ananya stepped forward, clutching a big handmade card, her eyes unsure. ‘Happy Birthday, Mom,’ she said softly. ‘We wanted to do something special for you for once.’

Priyanka beamed — but her heart didn't race. It swelled.

She opened the card slowly. The cover read, ‘To the Best Mom in the World!’ 

Inside, in two sets of messy handwriting, were simple messages.

"Thanks for always being there, even when we don't say it enough."

"We love you, even when we're grumpy."

And in smaller writing at the bottom:

"P.S.: No activities tomorrow. We just want to hang out with you. Pyjama day?"

And then the tears of relief came. Tears that come when one finally exhales after holding one's breath for far too long. 

She hugged her kids tightly, resting her forehead against theirs.

'Thank you. This means more than you'll ever know,' their mother whispered.

Rekha appeared from behind a bouquet, holding up a glass. 'Happy Birthday, Drama Queen,' she teased.

Priyanka laughed — her first real laugh in a long time. 'You! You knew, didn't you?’

Rekha winked. 'Let's just say I nudged a few pieces into place.'

Subir approached her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 'Are you okay?' he asked gently.

'I'm more than okay,' Priyanka said, her voice steady. 

The next morning, the house was quiet again — but this time, it felt warm instead of hollow.

Priyanka sat by the window with her cup of water and lime, the sunlight spilling across the floor. A light breeze fluttered the curtains, and for the first time in ages, she didn't feel like she was running behind.

She had left her phone in the other room. No posts. No pictures. No perfect angles.

Just stillness.

She glanced at the handmade card on the table beside her and smiled. ‘Pyjama day, ‘she reminded herself. 

Ananya was still asleep, curled up in bed like she used to when she was five. Her son had wandered into the kitchen earlier to ask how to make tea, and she'd let him try without stepping in. She was surprised that he had offered to even make a cup of tea for his parents.

It was too weak and too sweet.

But she drank it anyway.

She meandered into her bedroom, found her old journal tucked deep in her bedside drawer. She hadn’t written in it for years. Priyanka flipped to a blank page, found a pen, and began to write - 

"Yesterday, I turned 40.

And for the first time in a long time, I didn't wake up with a to-do list.

I woke up with a feeling.

A quiet one.

A calming one. 

I am not just a mother.

I am not just a wife.

I am not just an employee

I am not a machine.

I'm learning to be me again. 

Slowly. Softly.

And it feels like the beginning."

She closed the journal, took another sip of her son's terrible tea, and leaned back.

Today, Prianka wouldn't plan anything - she would simply live.