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Writer's pictureAditi

What We Seek

‘Wait! What? What the...? Is that my mother?’ Sameer expostulated.


‘OH MY GOD!’ IT IS!’


‘Mummy!! Mummmmmmy!’ Sameer called out eagerly. He was sitting behind the wheel of his sedan, seatbelt fastened, Bluetooth playing his all-time favorite Spotify playlist, waiting for the red light to turn green. ‘That caaaan’t be her! On a motorbike! OMG, she’s driving that motorbike! Well, thank God she has a helmet on! What the hell is going on?’


Sameer’s mother was lost in her own bubble a few meters away from her son. Just then, she looked left. 


‘Mummmmmmy!’ Sameer exclaimed. Their eyes met. His hands immediately went into the air, creating question marks. ‘What are you doing? Mrs. Veena Mathur! Mother of Sameer Mathur!’


His mother’s eyes widened. Veena grinned a sheepish grin, immediately riding off as the traffic light turned green. ‘Perfect timing,’ she thought as she zoomed ahead, leaving behind her worried, apprehensive, troubled, overgrown son. 


Sameer thought of calling her. But he thought twice, wondering how she could possibly pick up his call and handle the bike at the same time. Unarguably, she had a knack for multitasking, but this… left him speechless. He never imagined seeing his mother… of all the people on a motorbike, wearing baggy denim jeans and a denim jacket. This was way too much for him to digest. The loud, continuous honks from behind broke his stupor. He immediately changed gears, stepped on the accelerator, and made his way to another busy day at work. 


Sameer spent the rest of that day thinking only about his mother, even though he was drowning in piles and piles of paperwork. He didn’t have the courage to call but had decided to have a face-to-face conversation once he was home from work. 


In due course, Veena let herself through the family’s front door. She had made it just in time to welcome her granddaughter, Meera, home from her day at school. Veena quickly reheated the lunch she had prepared earlier that morning, a regular simple lunch - dal, chawal, and salad while her granddaughter changed into a clean pair of clothes and freshened up. 


The two made themselves comfortable at the dining table, which was laid with piping hot, delicious food. Veena couldn’t wait any longer. She could feel her sugar levels dipping, so she decided to dig in. Meera watched her grandma in silence. She stared at her plate and soon let out a long sigh. 


‘Are you okay? What’s the matter? Veena asked as she made the next bite of food. ‘You’ve been awfully quiet since you’ve come through that front door. You’re usually like Little Miss Chatterbox.’ 


‘Nothing, Dadi,’ Meera murmured as she picked up the spoon and swirled it around the empty plate. 


‘Oh, come on! I’m sure there’s something wrong. Did something happen at school? Or on the bus ride home? Or…’ Dadi began to line up several questions. ‘Why don’t you eat something… maybe that will help? Aren’t you hungry?’


Her granddaughter pressed her eyes with her fingers, taking a deep breath. 


‘Meera… say something. You’re beginning to worry me.’


‘I… I don’t feel like eating anything, Dadi,’ she said slowly. ‘I just want to… be left alone.’ 


Veena studied her granddaughter. ‘Okay… But if you want to talk about anything, you know where to find me.’


Meera nodded slowly and left the dining table. She went straight to her room and gently shut the bedroom door. 


A while later, Veena couldn’t hold back any longer. She knew she needed to give Meera the space she needed, but her grandmother also needed to know what she was feeling. What was running through her mind? Why was she looking so miserable?


‘I’m going for a walk,’ her grandmother said as she entered Meera’s room. ‘Do you want to come along? Maybe it will make you feel better and take your mind off things.’


Meera had her face buried in her pillow. ‘I don’t feel like it, Dadi,’ she sobbed. 


‘Then tell me what’s the matter… I can’t see my only granddaughter in tears and not do anything about it.’


Meera sighed profoundly, trying to get her emotions in check. 


‘Tell me, darling,’ her grandmother urged. 


‘Dadi! LOVE SUCKS!’ Meera howled. 


‘My goodness… Why on earth would you say that? What happened?’


Meera felt the waterworks flowing. Her tears streamed down her face and splashed onto her top. 


‘It’s okay. Let’s take some deep breaths.’


Meera sniffed spasmodically.


‘You know you can tell me anything. We women come out the strongest only when we talk about things that are bothering us. Some days, we may have to cry. Some days, we might just want to stay in bed all day. Some days, we just want to shut ourselves out from the entire world. But eventually, it hits you. It hits you hard! That’s when you get your act together. Whether you come out crawling, walking, sprinting… It doesn’t matter as long as you are making progress. Now tell me, my sweet young darling, what’s the matter? Your grandma has a solution for everything. My hair hasn’t gone this grey without seeing the world.’


Meera looked up at her beautiful, wise, wrinkled dadi. She fluttered her wet eyes and wiped her tears. 

‘Come on… Spill the beans,’ her grandmother smiled lovingly, taking Meera’s hand. 


‘Okaaay…’ she sighed. ‘So… you know about Rohit, right?’


‘Yes, Rohit, the one who lives down the lane, the same one with whom you share the school bus. He’s a class senior to you if I’m not mistaken. He’s in grade twelve,’ Veena replied. 


‘Yes. That Rohit. He’s the only Rohit I know. But now I wish I never knew him.’


‘What happened, my darling?’ 


Meera went silent, wondering how to explain things to her dadi. She then took a deep breath. ‘Rohit and I had become very good friends. I would say more than just friends. A few months ago, we started writing letters to each other. And we exchanged letters on the bus ride home every single day. I have a shoe box full of his letters in my cupboard.’


Her grandmother had her full attention now. 


‘We have talked about everything under the sun and have been very open about our feelings. We have even shared the small moments of our day. We talk about incidents at school; he talks a lot about his family problems. We have talked a lot about history since he, too, is a humanities student. We are alike in so many ways. And over a period of time, I’ve grown fond of him.


‘Then what happened?’ Dadi asked slowly. 


Meera let out a long sigh. ‘In my last letter, which we exchanged on Friday, I asked him out. And I asked him if he would like me to be his date for prom night. I know I'm so kiddish and so immature, but I just couldn’t hold back my feelings any longer.’


‘And what did he say?’ 


‘He… he didn’t reply to my letter. And it’s already Monday. He avoided me on the bus ride home. He didn’t even acknowledge me, or that I was sitting in the same seat I sit in every day. He has some nerve!’


Dadi reflected as she poured her granddaughter a glass of water. 


Meera was sitting at the edge of the bed with her head hanging low. 


‘Let’s go for a walk. Give Rohit some time. Maybe his family might disapprove. Perhaps he is scared that you might get hurt. Perhaps he has conservative parents. Or maybe you just need to cut him some slack. After all, he does have to prepare for his 12th board exam. They aren’t very far away, are they… So, I don’t suggest this is the time for you to bring yourself down just because of a boy who didn’t acknowledge you. You’re better than that. And love is beautiful. Please don’t say love sucks! The feeling is indescribable once you experience love and feel love and have those feelings and butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Love doesn’t suck, Meera. Sometimes the situation might but love… ‘


‘I know Dadi… like you always say… Love makes the world go round.’


‘Now cheer up. Your father is going to be home soon. And you have school tomorrow. I’m sure you have homework to finish. And I have to get dinner out of the way.’ 


‘Thanks, Dadi. For always being there for me.’


‘I know I can never take your mother’s place. But what else are dadis for?’


‘I miss Mumma,’ Meera said slowly. 


‘Oh, I miss your mother too. She was one hell of a strong lady. And a die-hard believer in love. Sadly, cancer ate her up. But I’m sure she’s watching down upon you, and she’d be really proud of you.’


Just then, Meera’s father, Sameer, let himself through the front door. 


‘Mummy! Where are you?’ He called as he kicked off his work shoes. 


‘Why does Dad sound so mad?’ Meera frowned, looking at her Dadi. 


‘Hmmm… I think I know why,’ Veena sighed, rolling her eyes. 


‘Where do you think you were going on that motorbike? And where did that bike even come from?’ Sameer asked his mother. ‘Have you lost your mind? What if you had an accident? What if you fracture your hip or break your bones? Are you not able to grasp the reality of all this? I don’t understand what has gotten into you?’


‘Dad! Don’t talk to Dadi like that!’ Meera exclaimed. 


‘Why are you getting your knickers in a twist?’ Veena sighed. 


‘Ohhhh, so you finally know about Dadi and her motorbike?’ Meera grinned a naughty grin. 


‘How can you be so irresponsible?’ Sameer continued. ‘Wait… what? What did you say, Meera? You knew about Dadi and the motorbike?’


‘Oh, Dad! When are we going to start living fearlessly for once? Yes! I know about Dadi and her motorbike… She bought it with her pension money a few months ago. She even went to classes to learn how to ride a motorbike,’ Meera added. ‘And why can’t she ride a motorbike? What do you even know about what’s going on in her life? Or mine? You’re so lost in your own little world.’


Sameer was filled with indignation. 


‘Ok… that’s enough!’ Veena exclaimed. 


Just then, the doorbell rang. The family of three exchanged looks as the tension in the air was palpable. 


‘I’ll get it,’ Meera said softly, as she made her way to the front door while Sameer continued grumbling and whining to his mother. 


‘Dadi…’ Meera called out. ‘Someone is here to meet you.’


Veena frowned, trying to get her thoughts together. ‘Who could it be?’


Meera charged past them to the kitchen. ‘It’s that guy you were talking about…. That uncle… the one from the book club.’


‘Ohhh! Naresh!’ 


Sameer’s eyes widened. ‘Now, who is Naresh?!?”


His mother ignored her son and met her visitor, who was comfortably seated in the drawing room. Meera had just handed him a glass of lemonade. 


‘I’m so sorry, Naresh. I completely forgot about our dinner date tonight. Today has been a little crazy. Please give me a few minutes, and I’ll quickly get ready, and we can make a move.’


‘Sure, sure. It’s nice to finally meet Meera in person. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you,’ Naresh smiled sweetly. 


‘Meera, if you can please give uncle some company, I’ll be back in a jiffy,’ Veena suggested. 


‘Who is this guy?’ Sameer asked his mother the moment she entered her bedroom. ‘And where do you think you’re going?’


‘What does it look like? I’m going out for dinner with my friend. Why… can’t I?’


‘How come I don’t know about this? And what impression will it have on Meera?’ 


Veena halted. She turned around and looked her son in the eye. ‘I lost your father twenty years ago. I’m not saying I didn’t love him. I did. And I still do. But he has ended his journey. That doesn’t mean I have to end mine. Having friends, riding a bike, going out, and having good conversations with like-minded people makes me feel alive. It makes me feel loved. Naresh and I have been good friends for over six months. He, too, lost his wife a few years ago. But those realities don’t stop us from finding love again. Love comes in many forms. I think you, as well, should give love another chance. For yourself. For Meera. God knows how much time I have left in this world. I might have one foot in my grave anytime soon. But that isn’t going to stop me from living. And finding love in as many forms as possible.’


Sameer felt his face flush. 


‘Sameer, darling do try to stop controlling everything and everyone. Just go with the flow. Love makes life beautiful. You just have to let it in. Now… I must go. I’ll see you in a bit. I shouldn’t be out too late.’


Sameer nodded slowly. 


‘But before I leave…Come, I’ll introduce you to Naresh,’ Veena smiled sweetly.


Soon, Veena was out the door with Naresh. But before she left, she told Meera to buy a litre of milk and some bread. Meera dropped by the nearby shop and purchased the items her grandmother had asked for. On her way back, she bumped into Rohit. He smiled sheepishly. 


‘Can I buy you ice cream?’ He asked cautiously. 


Meera smiled, ‘I would love that.’




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